happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
