Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
