You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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