A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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