I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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