is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
