Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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