I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
