Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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