She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
