I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
