my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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