Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize