I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
