I just saw a hot homeless man
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
