Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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