I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hello my rib-scented angel!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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