I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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