I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The best revenge is premature balding
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
