Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
