we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Small penises have feelings too.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
