i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
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Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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