remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
