I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
