yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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