so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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