i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
