i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
