Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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