Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Found your dick twin last night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
