I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
