I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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