are you so shy because you have an std?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize