It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
