We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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