hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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