you have to choose: penises or morals?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
