You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
