he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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