Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My vagina is officially offended.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize