he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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