And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
