I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
