I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
