yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
