first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize