I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
