every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.