Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.