doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Text me some of your sweat
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