you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned