I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY