Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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