YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
