A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
