I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
