Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize