I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize