Pants 0. Shit 1.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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