a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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