i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
