i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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