Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
