Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
