We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
