you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
