I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
There's even glitter on my cock...
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