I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
