my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
