it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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