dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
