i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
