So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out