U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
