Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
