In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You've changed since you got that strap on
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
