how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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