Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
