Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
